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Why you are single & How to find love

 Article by Love Diva Shay

 

A large number of professional women are single these days. In this article, I will explain the most common reasons why professional women are single & I will also show you how to find love fast (source: Shay Levister’s book The Science of Attracting Love).  

  • Perfectionism is in the way.

  What does perfectionism look like in dating? Well, you will know that perfectionism is in your way when you are bothered by the following:  

  • You want every single desire and need you have to be satisfied, preferably right now, by meeting, dating and marrying the one guy who has it all. The truth is nobody (including you) has it all.

 

  • You objectify men. Objectification is an attitude which regards a person as a commodity or as an object for use. In other words, to objectify a man is to treat him as a tool, a means to an end. You can decide what role a man is going to fill in your love life, and then your perfectionism makes you decide which qualities (physical, emotional, intellectual, professional, psychological) you need him to have so as to fulfill that role. And then you create a checklist to find the dream guy who has it all (and you think that’s how to find love).

 

  • You are more concerned with how a guy looks than how he actually

 

  • You care more about what your best friends will think about him than how you feel about him when you are together.

 

  • You can’t stop thinking that if he looked a little hotter, dressed a bit better, or had a high-profile job or more money, you will consider him as a real candidate.

  If any of the above-mentioned symptoms are present in your mindset, perfectionism is certainly in the way.

 

  • Absence of inner feminine is a common reason why professional women are single.

  Nowadays a lot of professional women are competing with men in the society, so they are not rooted in the feminine aspect of life.   What is the inner feminine? Well, it’s not always about high heels and black lace stockings. The inner feminine I’m describing is something that an attractive woman has – it’s about connection, relationship, the impulse to nurture and to love, the desire to create a family, tend a garden, hang curtains and deeply intuit people around her. Most importantly, the inner feminine wants to love.   However, if you are a professional woman who focuses on performing tasks and accomplishing them in a linear, directed and focused way, you are probably spending most of your time in your masculine energy without doing anything to build your inner feminine. Consequently, you may find yourself in your thirties with more to offer a man than ever before, yet with less ability to attract successful men. This has nothing to do with your age; it’s because you are overdeveloped in the masculine aspect of yourself. And now you are wondering how to find love.   I see this a lot with career women. But it doesn’t mean I think ladies should quit their jobs and become housewives. What I’m saying is your inner feminine is a precious gift that you can offer your man.   As I see it, trying to conduct a relationship from your masculine side is just like a left-handed individual writing with their right hand. Yes, it can be done; nevertheless, it’s not where you flow. Your masculine energy is not the center of your power as a lady.   How can you nurture your inner feminine? First of all, let men serve you. I know you can do everything by yourself, but it’s more fun if a man serves you, isn’t it? Second, don’t be argumentative. If you are always trying to be right, you are in your masculine energy. Do you want to be right or do you want to be happy? Third, embrace outrageous openness. If you’d like to know how to find love, practice being open. When you smile like a big, radiant flower, men will flock to you.  

  • How to find love in 2020:

  Now I’d like to introduce a range of strategies that you can implement in 2020 so that you will find love soon!  

  • In terms of starting dating, what’s your first move? No, it’s not getting a new hairdo or buying a new dress. It’s selecting who you will date. Most professional women skip this important step, refuse to handpick their men and only wait to be selected. When professional women talk about how hard dating is, they are not talking about the actual act of going out for dates, they are talking about the selection process. Men have the power of choice because they are the ones who start conversations and asks women out. In contrast, women rarely speak first or ask men out due to generations of conditioning – “Sit, be pretty, and someone will ask you out”. This passive attitude makes women give up all power in choosing whom they date. You may counter that women have the power to reject men; however, the ability to say “yes” or “no” is not taking life in your own hands because the only options can be a creepy guy and a sleazy guy who actually had the courage to approach you as they have done this for one thousand times.

 

  • It’s time to put an end to settling for less than you deserve and start being proactive to some extent. You don’t necessarily need to make the first move, but at least you can indicate your interest in a man tactfully, e.g. you can maintain eye contact, go near him and let him do the rest of the work. In actuality, a confident man will make the first move because he isn’t controlled by fear of rejection. If you make the first move, you won’t know whether this guy is actually confident or not. Thus, getting men to make the first move is an effective way to filter men quickly. According to my observation, successful and accomplished men can approach women with confidence because they know it’s their responsibility to make great things happen – they operate like this in their careers and in their love lives.

 

  • Keep smiling. Yes, you read that right. It is so simple. This strategy is all about encouraging him to approach you. You must look approachable.

 

  • Go out alone. If you go out with a group of female friends, then men won’t approach you because they feel intimidated by your friends – who wants to be rejected in front of a group of people? Having said that, if you have a friend who is happy to be your wing-woman, then that’s fine – you can go out with her! Ideally, your wing-woman can’t be more beautiful than you (she should be the less attractive girl so that you will look more attractive). This is what your wing-woman will do – she will approach the hot guy that you like and introduce you to him!

 

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Shay Levister is a CERTIFIED LOVE TRANSFORMER™ who has helped professional women find love for more than one decade.

www.shayyourlovediva.com